Private Prayer

Your relationship with God is most probably deeply personal. Perhaps you would decribe it as a 'one-on-one, best friends forever, he ain't heavy he's my brother' type of affair; I know I would. If your relationship with the Almighty isn't like this, you are obviously doing something wrong, because it sure won't be the LORD who is letting the side down!

So assuming you have a good relationship with God, you will no doubt have experienced those precious moments when His spirit is so near to yours, when you reveal your innermost heart to the face of our LORD, and feel His love and close personal attention shining upon you. These times are truly the most precious, private moments in the life of a good Christian.

Why not contact us with all the details, clearly marking your entry "PRIVATE PRAYER".

Any entries deemed worthy will be added to our PRIVATE PRAYER ONLINE LIBRARY - helping us to learn from one another and share the goodness He has brought to our hearts.

Full names, addresses or contact details will not be displayed, thus preserving the individual importance of the blessing our LORD has chosen to bestow.

To get the ball rolling I hope you will consider an entry from my humble self; I was blessed with this knowledge after He came to me last Tuesday. It was the most amazing feeling! I felt His presence fill me as I was watching 'The Dukes of Hazzard'. At first I thought it was just an excedingly good episode of that superb programme, but then it dawned on me that the Almighty was in my head giving it large. I felt compelled to share my enlightenment; I hope it may enrich the lives of any that read it and that God blesses you all.

Love thy God by Reverend Bernard Worthington

A good Church of England subject should - above all other things - love our LORD. This would seem at first glance to be something that would go without saying. But in reality this is one of the most common areas where mistakes are made; mistakes that will send even the most well meaning Christian straight to the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity.

Our LORD is not unreasonable in His demands; He simply asks that you love Him above all other things. This is where a great deal of His followers fall down. It can be for the most simple of reasons; a wayward emotion towards a new born child, parent or loving family pet can often condemn an unfortunate soul to Lucifer's black fold.

This problem is not only one faced by simple members of the flock, but has tested some of our LORD's most blessed chosen. The Virgin Mary herself was only fortunate that her Offspring also happened to be her LORD, or she would have been screaming in flames for the last 2000 years.

But of course the right path is not so hard as the doubters would have you believe. It is simply a case of controlling one's emotions. We are not as the beasts of the field, and are not likewise governed by base lusts to procreate and survive. We alone of all Gods great creation have been given the ability to know Him, and see that our feelings are not to be frittered away on our earthly brethren but should be showered on the heavens with eyes tight shut and arms raised outstretched.

God would have us love our neighbour; but not as much as we love Him.

God Wants Me To Get Drunk In The Morning by Marlow

Whenever I wake up I find I shake uncontrollably unless I have a bottle of wine or two. After reading the Bible I realised that God was testing me in a similar way to Job. He had obviously smitten me with alcoholism to win a bet with Satan.

Once I'd come to understand this, I quit my career as a policeman and devoted all my time to drinking and praising the LORD. I am not about to let Satan win the bet! Each morning as I shiver and clutch at my damp sheets I praise the Almighty endlessly between massive gulping swigs of gin. Hallelujah!

God Doesn't Like My Neighbour by Stewart

Last week I realised God didn't like my neighbour. His dog was run over, and he really loved that dog. He told me he used to pray for it every night because he loved it so much. I've started breaking his windows while he goes to work now, because I realised that if God doesn't like him then neither should I. If he gets another dog I'll run it over myself.

Footsteps by Annie

I have never in my life written poetry, until the other day when I thought I would give it a spin. Usually I spend my time sitting about eating cakes, but the urge suddenly grabbed me to write something pretentious and stupid - just like a real poet! I can only assume that God was making me do this, so I have sent in my ditty for everyone to see. I hope you like it:

Footsteps in the sand
like great big plates;
they follow my journey
and distribute my weight.

You have guided my path
and have shown me the way.
You have touched my parts;
but not in a way that's gay.

Footsteps footsteps blah blah blah;
I don't like the ones made by dinosaurs
because they make me sound insane.